By Claire Casey
You Say “Flawed”, He Says “Sexy”: What Men Really Think About Your Body
This may come as a shock to
you but guys have different eyeballs than you do.
You know why I'm saying that?
Because when YOU look at
yourself in the mirror, you see that front tooth that's a bit crooked, the line
where your bra presses in (you call this your “back fat”), the too-small
breasts or the too-wide rear, your goofy knees, funny toes.... The list goes on
and on.
But you know what your MAN
sees? A woman he'd love to strip naked and get busy with right this instant,
maybe sooner.
My personal body part confession...
Maybe you have a muffin top
“thing,” but I used to HATE my feet.
When I was a teenager, I had
surgery on my big toes (bunions, it's such an ugly word!!) and for the next 20
years I zealously covered my feet. I never EVER owned a pair of sandals or
open-toed shoes and would have died before I let a man openly look at my feet.
I have a big scar running the
length of both big toes. My second toe is longer. My feet are... wanky. You
know. Ugh, I could make myself MISERABLE thinking about my feet.
Shockingly, amazingly,
wonderfully, I found a man actually willing (he would say, desperate!) to marry
me.
I hope you're laughing now,
but at the time, I found it next to impossible to think about what kind of man
would marry me “even with these feet.”
3 ways MEN see your body...
If you asked my man which of
my physical attributes attracted him, it's really hard for him to move past the
standard T&A answer you'd probably get from any man. You can almost see a
physical effort as he drags his sex-craving brain past the chest, past the
butt, and FINALLY he'll tell you something like, “She has gorgeous
shoulders...”
I bet he didn't even know I
had scars on my feet for the first 10 years we were married.
Here's the thing: Men see
your body in three ways, and it's nothing like the way you see yourself.
1. They see what makes you WOMANLY
This means when they look at
you they instantly notice the things about your body that make you uniquely a
woman. Breasts, hips, ass, curves... Even the way you walk. It's nearly
impossible for a red-blooded heterosexual male to notice anything before
they read the parts of your body that say: I am a woman.
Your arm flaps do not make
this list. Your cellulite does not make this list. Your stretch marks do not
make this list. Sorry.
2. They see what makes you UNIQUE
That chipped tooth you hate?
They think it's kind of charming. The muffin top? They can't see it because
it's too near your ass, which they think is the finest thing in nine counties.
Do you think your lips are too thin? They just love it when you smile at them.
(And truthfully, when they think about your lips on their body, they are NOT
thinking “Oh her lips are too thin.” I PROMISE.)
If guys notice a particular
body part of yours that you think makes you hideous (and I guarantee you they
would never use that term) they just think it makes you uniquely...you! And
since it's YOU they are desperate for, they want that part of you as much as
the others.
3. They see what you constantly draw their attention to
This is where you have the
power to rock or ruin a relationship.
When you constantly complain
about your own body, a man's desire to enjoy and love you are being eroded a
little at a time. In other words, you're rejecting him. He thinks, “I could
touch her body all day,” and you say, “I'm too flabby.” You're not only tearing
yourself down, you're tearing HIM – his thoughts, his desires for you, his
excitement about you – down.
And it works the other way,
too. Show off your pedicure (I do, now!), go sleeveless, wear that backless
dress, and ruthlessly tease him with the body he absolutely adores.
A man loves a REAL woman
Of course he looks at the
naked, “perfect” girls in the magazine or online. And of course you're
bombarded with “perfect” skinny chicks on the runway or the billboard.
But a picture of perfection –
whether it's real or not – is no competition whatsoever for a living,
breathing, fragrant woman sitting next to a man at a restaurant. Or pressed
slightly against him in the elevator. Perfection can go hang; you are up
close and personal.
Stepford wives are creepy.
You can be assured that while he might fantasize about a playmate of the month,
he'll take a real woman over a figment of his imagination EVERY time.
Celebrate your body (and let him do it, too)!
Of course you want to invest
time and energy into a healthy, beautiful body. But meanwhile, don't let your
own issues with your body drive him away. You deserve all the fabulous
man-attention as he wants to give you!
How to make a man fall in love with you
Maybe you're still waiting
for that amazing guy to come along... Is there anything YOU can do to get him
here and in your life, right now? Listen to the story of how one woman “tamed”
renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore, and almost magically got HIM to
decide it was time to stop playing the field.
No ultimatums. No begging and
pleading. No crying. In this video, Michael lays out the absolute truth about
what men
really
want and NEED from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her...
About Claire Casey
Claire Casey has spent years
traveling the sometimes dazzling, sometimes dark and rocky paths that connect
the hearts of men to the women they love. As a lifelong writer, she has studied
and written about the ways men and women grow (or destroy) love. Unlike the
spotlight-loving, entertainment-based celebrity relationship coaches, Claire
isn't a model or a TV spokesperson, and she doesn't have a lot of academic
letters after her name... She just quietly empowers women to attract the kind of
man who will treasure and protect a woman's heart like the rare and beautiful
gem it is.
I
have a secret superpower now...
"Claire
is like the no-BS, wiser friend I wish I had. She's a sweetheart, but she'll
give it to you straight... and no philosophical crap either-- just real, useful
step-by-step advice. I've learned so much and I really do feel like I have a
secret superpower now. As an added bonus, this stuff is FUN! So if you were
thinking homeworky drudgery, don't. You're going to have a blast with it."
--
Sonja F.
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